


before I fade away and disappear

by carrieevew



Series: in these words I want to hear a heartbeat [3]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Season/Series 06, Speculation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-10
Updated: 2019-06-10
Packaged: 2020-04-24 04:40:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19166005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carrieevew/pseuds/carrieevew
Summary: Bellamy races against time to bring Josephine to Gabriel in a desperate attempt to bring Clarke back.





	before I fade away and disappear

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Bellarke_Stories](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bellarke_Stories/gifts).



> written for a tumblr prompt _when they bring Clarke back, Bellamy is unconcious because he got hurts while trying to protect Josephine!Clarke? With lots of angst if possible_. i hope i delivered! this time, it is a direct continuation of [in an age of darkness light appears](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19130152) but i think you shouldn't have any trouble following this without it. 
> 
> title from _[Kiedy powiem sobie dość](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghh0ttnRdiQ)_ by O.N.A.
> 
> hope you enjoy!

“Shut up,” Bellamy snarled, nudging her with the barrel of his rifle.

She was walking in front of Bellamy with her hands tied behind her back and two lengths of rope tied to her ankles, so that Bellamy could yank her off her feet if she tried to run.

“Oh, don’t be like that,” she whined, turning around to face him. “All I said was that it was hot, watching you fight to save my life. It’s a compliment!”

Bellamy said nothing, only nodded his head to urge her to move. She sighed and started walking again.

For all her teasing, getting attacked barely a few miles outside of Sanctum freaked her out, Bellamy could tell. After all, she wasn’t just any of the Primes, she was _Josephine Lightbourne_ , the one who promised vengeance to Gabriel, when he left, saying that she was a monster and he regretted ever bringing her back.

And now, even with Gabriel promising them safe passage, she was still not happy about being out there with just one Bellamy and one rifle to protect her. But, seeing as her only choices were having her chip ripped out and destroyed on the spot or going to Gabriel to have it removed safely and preserved, she chose the trip through the woods.

She only stayed silent for a moment.

“Although, I don’t suppose you were actually saving _me_ , were you? You’re still holding out hope that you can bring your princess back, huh?”

“That’s very sweet of you but let me just warn you, Gabriel had a long time and a lot of incentive to create the serum that allowed him to bring me back. The antidote is a new pet project and he didn’t have quite as many volunteers to test it on. None, actually, would be my guess.”

She glanced back over her shoulder at him but Bellamy just clenched his jaw.

“I just want you to manage your expectations,” she continued with fake concern, undeterred by his hostility. “I know you’re a free man now, I saw that tall, angry-looking one take her things out of your room and move them over to the mechanic’s. Now, we may be from different worlds but I think that’s the universal sign of a break-up.”

She sighed. “I suppose I am grateful for not letting that savage chop my head off, so I just wanted to warn you.”

She stopped again and turned around. Bellamy stopped a few feet from her, rifle pointed at the ground. He took a deep breath that hitched in his throat when his bruised ribs protested. That blow their attacker landed must’ve been much harder than he thought. Bellamy shifted his weight from one foot to the other with a grunt but she remained unconcerned, just kept looking at him with a cocked eyebrow and a mean smile.

It seemed like she was finding some incredible joy in observing his reactions and even more so when he tried not to react at all. So she kept talking and talking to him and using Clarke was her favourite ammunition.

“Even if you take me out and the body doesn’t just die, this reunion may not be as satisfying as you’re hoping.”

Bellamy nudged her shoulder with the barrel again but she didn’t move, only laughed loudly.

“Come on! You keep poking me with that thing as if I’m supposed to believe that you would actually use it. We both know you won’t hurt me as long as I’m wearing this body.”

“We’re wasting time,” he finally said with a huff.

She gasped excitedly. “He speaks!”

She set off again and when Bellamy knew she wasn’t watching, he allowed himself a deep and quite painful breath, his head shaking in frustration.

Ever since that day when she held him in the lab, Clarke managed to resurface a few more time and judging by how increasingly more tired and desperate she sounded, they didn’t have much time.

And then, the last time he spoke to Clarke, she made him swear that if they weren’t able to take the chip out safely, he would take it right out of her head, no matter what that might mean to Clarke. She didn’t have the time to go into the details and Bellamy was too overwhelmed to ask about them, but Clarke suspected that she had something radical planned and was determined to stop her. So Clarke made him promise he’d stop her and even gave him a scalpel that was burning a hole in his pocket right now, for easier access.

The truth was, the thought of actually doing it, made him sick to his stomach but Bellamy knew that Clarke couldn’t go on like that forever and he wanted to honour her wishes. Which was why, when Diyoza reached out to them with Gabriel’s offer, Bellamy grabbed her and took her out of Sanctum, willing to try anything, if there was even a chance it could work.

***

They walked for a few more miles before his bruised ribs started to really bother him. Bellamy made them stop to get some rest. She dropped dramatically onto the nearby tree stump.

“If you were any smarter, you would’ve gotten us some transport, instead of just running away from Sanctum like your hair was on fire.”

Bellamy ignored her words and offered her some water. She sent him an unimpressed look and shrugged her shoulders, as much as she could with her hands still bound behind her.

Oh, right.

Bellamy stepped closer and put the bottle to her lips. She never took her eyes off of him as she took a long gulps, drinking everything from the bottle. She released it with a loud pop and ran her tongue over the rim. Bellamy’s hand tightened on the bottle and she sent him a feral grin.

“You like that, don’t you?” she asked, getting up. She came over to Bellamy and looked up at him, licking her lips.

His hand clenched so hard that the plastic bottle crumpled, which made her raise her eyebrow in satisfaction. She pushed her chest towards him.

“How about we make another deal—you let me go and I do whatever you want to this body.”

Bellamy’s eyes went wide and he felt a wave of fury flood him. His teeth clenched so tightly that he felt a crick in his haw but if she noticed any changes in his demeanour, she didn’t care, she just kept on talking. She definitely didn’t notice his free hand going to his jacket pocket.

“I know you want her, now is your chance! Just think about it, I have seven lifetimes behind me, I can show you things you haven’t even dreamt of.”

Bellamy put a hand on her neck and yanked her closer. She had a crazy, excited look in her eyes and she didn’t even notice that he pulled an injector out of his pocket. Not until he jabbed it into her neck.

She went out with confusion painting her features and Bellamy grabbed her before she hit the ground. He hoisted her up into his arms and they both nearly toppled over when the pain in his side blinded him momentarily. He readjusted his grip on the woman in his arms and started walking. This was neither the time nor the place for worrying about some bruises.

***

Carrying Clarke’s unconscious body through the woods Bellamy didn’t know would’ve been difficult in any circumstances but because of his injuries, it was slowly becoming nearly impossible. He suspected his ribs may have been more than just bruised, considering that the pain was becoming more and more unbearable with each step and it was getting harder to breathe. Not to mention, the barely-healed wound in his thigh was making his leg feel like it was on fire, the newly-repaired flesh hurt so much that he felt it in his teeth.

He couldn’t stop, though. If he did, he wouldn’t be able to start again and that simply wasn’t an option.

When he finally heard the whine of an engine coming closer, he was barely able to walk anymore, his body was drenched in sweat. He was taking shallow, laboured breaths and the a long, shuddering one, when Octavia and Diyoza parked the motorcycles and his sister came up to him to help him support Clarke.

He tried to argue when Octavia explained that he would ride with her and Diyoza would take Clarke with her, not willing to be separated from her for even a little while they rode to Gabriel’s. He gave up quickly, though, when Diyoza sent him a withering glare and asked him where the brakes were. Besides, when Clarke was finally out of his arms and settled on the seat in front of Diyoza, he realised that his vision was getting spotty.

They rode as quickly as possible, given the extra weight on the bikes and the rough road ahead of them, and soon, Bellamy started to feel dizzy. He tightened his grip on his sister and closed his eyes for a moment, trying to focus on staying conscious.

When they finally reached Gabriel’s compound, Bellamy couldn’t focus on his surroundings, all that mattered was getting Clarke to the lab and starting the procedure. He was already whizzing by the time he helped Octavia place Clarke on an operating table. She was laying with her face down, hair in a tangled mess and covering her eyes.

He grabbed her hand and crouched next to her head, the other hand going to her face in order to brush the hair away. He allowed himself a moment of tenderness, brushing her cheek with his thumb. There were dark bruises underneath her eyes, like she hadn’t slept in days—as if Clarke kept _her_ up at night.

_Good_.

Somewhere in the background, he heard someone order everyone to clear the room but it wasn’t until Octavia came up to him and put her hand on his shoulder and told him he needed to let them work.

Getting up from that crouch was a new experience in pain. Bellamy staggered backwards when his head started spinning and landed on his back, only barely able to stop his head from hitting the hard floor in the last moment.

He could see more that he could her his sister shouting, the world around him speeding out of control. He blinked a few times, trying to focus on Octavia, and realised that she was calling his name.

In fact, the last thing he remembered before he blacked out was her frantic call.

“Bell!”

***

Clarke woke up slowly, her eyes blinking rapidly before she was finally able to focus on the lamps on the ceiling.

She was laying on a narrow bed, under a soft sheet, her head resting on a fluffy pillow and it all felt do out of place, that she snapped up into a half-sitting position before falling back on the pillow when it turned out she didn’t have the strength to stay upright.

Memories starting flooding her brain and she moved her hand to feel the back of her neck, where a set of fresh, neat stitches covered the newly-opened wound. She took a deep breath and sighed when she realised she was finally free.

She started to look around the room and when she turned on her other side, she gasped sharply.

Bellamy was laying on the bed to her right, bandages wrapped around his naked chest, his hair wet from sweat and sticking to his forehead. Clarke tried to get up again but failed even faster and she let out a frustrated sigh.

“He’s gonna be okay,” said a voice to her left and Clarke looked towards the door.

“Octavia,” Clarke said, her voice hoarse from disuse.

“The one and only,’ she answered with a mock salute and her face seemed—softer. Her brow wasn’t furrowed like it used to be every time Clarke saw her after Praimfaya.

“What happened?” Clarke asked when Octavia came into the room and sat at the chair next to the beds.

“He was born an idiot,” Octavia said with an eye-roll. She saw the confusion on Clarke’s face and continued.

“Long story short, your other half got annoying, so he tranqed her and figured he could just carry—the both of you, I guess—until Diyoza and I found you all. Only one of his broken ribs punctured his lung and it collapsed.”

Clarke took a sharp breath.

“Did Josephine—?“

“Right, I guess you weren’t here for that yet. No, one of Gabriel’s less well-behaved children attacked you two right after you left Sanctum. Apparently, he didn’t get the memo about the cease-fire,” Octavia explained casually, resting her feet on the other chair in front of her.

Clarke was finally able to sit up but getting out of bed seemed like an impossible feat, so she settled for just watching the slow rise and fall of Bellamy’s chest.

“He will be fine,” Octavia reassured her, her voice sure  and when Clarke looked at her, there was a serious expression on her face, as she watched her brother. “They fixed him up, he just needs some rest.”

“You’re gonna be fine, too,” Octavia added with a jerk of her head and Clarke’s hand flew once again to her neck.

“It’s gone,” she whispered, as if to remind herself. She looked around the room again.

“Where are we, anyway?”

“With Gabriel,” Octavia said and rose from the chair. “Rest up, there’s a whole bunch of people here waiting for you to tell them how the hell are you still alive.”

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you like this! thank you so much for reading. comments and kudos will be welcomed like manna ;-)  
> and come find me on tumblr @[carrieeve](https://carrieeve.tumblr.com), we can cry and scream together.


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